Road To Selflessness

       My Road To Selflessness
Growing up as a kid I used to wonder why my bro (Seyi) had such a selfless spirit, I wasn't stingy, don't get me wrong, it just seemed like he was too much of sacrificial person(always going out of his way to help others). The other one is not has open handed But here's his uniqueness, he gives outright, he doesn't lend (Seyi lends and will stay on me till I pay back, most of which I don't pay back. Egbon ema binu lol). Growing up I start to find myself becoming more and more selfless.
      It went on like that till the day I answered a question and said "putting a smile on people's face" what was d question? You may ask, well the question was "what gives you joy and happiness" Twas at this point I began understanding what it felt like to be selfless n It was at that point I knew I was moving on the same track as my bro but on a slower pace with a different kind of walking step (like he was running and I was "denge pose" walking). Now I won't classify myself as the nicest person on earth But then I don't want to be the nicest person on earth, I'm just me and that's all I wanna be. People say keep your circle small, well a selfless man's circle can't be small, I've been hurt a 💯 times over by friends and I've learnt different lessons 💯 times over But the fact that you can forgive someone at the time wen even they believe they don't deserve it makes you more gracious and it also makes that person realize that they have hurt an anomaly person. "Every scar left by a person is there to remind yhu of a lesson" I believe life is a school and we're meant to learn and move on, mistakes happen but do make sure that you don't repeat the same mistake twice, now this hasn't always worked out well for me because I'm just a kid that is soooo imperfect, so if you're like me here's how I'd put it: don't make the same mistakes the same way twice, if the mistake is gonna happen again then it should come from a different pattern that you have tried.... Atleast you tried a different pattern(I stand to be corrected though but that's just my point of view).
 Another thing that has worked out for me so far is this, I try to always ask about a step that I'm about to take from someone who's in line with it or someone who has taken that step before (this helps a lot)
  Let's get back on track, overtime I have had reasons to go stone cold and not care about anybody anymore or what anybody feels but everytime I help someone out (even if it's the least possible way that I can) there's this content feeling I get and I see reasons to do more,if you like say thank you a million times or just 1 time I'm not fazed because I did it out of the goodness of my heart, now I have come to understand in life that people might not do the same for me so I've made up my mind to not expect anything from anybody. Let's make a little illustration here, a friend invited you to his/her grad party, yhu went and showed that friend love, took pictures and all of that and when it was ur turn to have that friend come over for your graduation party he/she didn't show up after promising, how would you feel?,disappointed right? lol the truth of the matter is you are allowed to feel sad a lil bit but not disappointed, until you've understood the fact that anybody can fail you (except God) only then will yhu stop getting disappointed. In my life I have told God and myself that I won't make promises I won't fulfill, those that know me know I don't make promises, I'll tell you outright "I'm not promising but I'll see what I can do". If you can, always be ready for the worst.
  At this point I'd like to reemphasize that I'm not an author or a poet or even a writer sef, this is just a piece of my mind written in words.
Now I also believe that everyone is worth celebrating, some few weeks ago a friend on whatsapp asked me "is it everybody that you must celebrate or wish hbd on Facebook??".... The truth is its not everybody I do that to, let's take the birthday thingy for an example; it comes only once in 365 days of a person's life and it's a very special day for that person, I feel that I'm supposed(even tho I'm not obligated) to wish that person well and make  them feel loved,write something nice about the person,put a smile on that dope guy or that cute girl's face. If you don't celebrate people when they are alive is it when they are dead that you will? I couldn't post a pic of ojb and say R.I.P cuz I felt bad that while this man was alive I never for once celebrated him, I felt like I wasn't even fit to have his pic on any of my social network sites. You'll say no "I can't wish him or her hbd,we don't talk" but you guys are friends on Facebook? It's only on Facebook that I see people who walk past themselves in the street, add each other up (I have some on my list). Now what if that person that you said you can't celebrate dies tomorrow, is your pride really that big?? Life is quite simple it's the people in it that make it complicated.
Just as respect is reciprocal that's how love is, if you show so much love you can only but receive it back. That's how it has worked for me.

                  Big Things Small Things
I as a person ain't moved by the so called "big things" people do especially the ones done just for show off (trust me I can tell when it's for show off) but rather it's the little little things that the normal average human will over look that catches my attention, those little selfless acts that we don't count, well yeah they go a long way with not just me but lots of people.
Some people, when funds are being raised in churches will proudly walk out and give to show that they are well off but can't do nothing about that brother that puts on dat same 3 shirts of clothes to church every month or that sister that is going through tough times at home with her parents about coming to church (how would they even know when there's segregation in the congregation) or  that young youth struggling to deal with peer pressure.
  I chose to take my examples from the church cuz that's where I believe the utmost love is supposed to be shown but mehn it's not so anymore. I've come to understand that and I now care less about what people do to me but care more about what I do to people, I'm not a "spirikoko" person, I don't preach but I believe the best way to pass a message is through your acts and deeds, it's not about how much yhu give but it's about how much love you put into giving", you cannot just come here and tell me this and that and all sorts of things and I don't see you doing them, olohun mi o ni gbo (to God I won't listen), likewise if you don't correct me in love I still won't listen,call me stubborn I won't dispute that, I'm growing,I'll still make mistakes Buh I pray that they will be as little as possible.
 Don't give to show off cuz ya rich or something but rather give to touch lives, one of the richest man in the history of Nigeria said something "I don't count my wealth based on the money I have but rather I count them based on the people I've put smile on their faces - M.K.O Abiola". Now we may have difference of opinions,you may not like somethings I've said but remember it's just the way I see things and as you well know I'm just a kid, I'm not aiming shots at anyone God sees my heart.  If you want to feed homeless people then feed them but the moment yhu start putting it on social media yhu are feeding u ego.
 What I'm trying to say in all is take note of the needs of people that surround you and do what you can and if they come to yhu for help do what yhu call also,Buh try not to let your left hand know what your right hand has done, simply put don't be a kiss and tell person.
Recently I saw a picture of a starved looking kid, this kid had 2 lollipops(which is all he had) but still offered one to the camera man, the man captiOned something like "dat was all had in the world but still offered to share" I swear that touched me to my marrow, now that's selflessness.
                 Friends And Frenemies
This actually a broad part of me but I'll make it as short as possible, I have quite a large number of friends as some of you already know, each of them having their special place in my life and each having thought me at least one vital thing (some haven't thought me a single thing Buh I believe they will). Some have made me smile, some have made me laugh,some have hurt me, stabbed me in the back (many times) and so on, all of them I have forgiven, a large portion of which we still talk while the remaining few portion have either let guilt or pride restrict them from talking to me, some I have decided against furthering my friendship with as I have discovered it wasn't meant to be.
 What does this have to do with your road to selflessness yhu might be wondering, well I wanna tell you how being a people's person has further helped me become selfless. I like to mingle so much that I don't walk alone (I'm not a Liverpool fan) but rather I walk in squads, on some occasions I'm the least outspoken person in the group while on others I'm the most outspoken person, either ways what I make sure is that I learn from each of them, different as they may be they all have their uniqueness. Some have thought me to jovial, some to be loving, some to be nice, some to be free giving, some to be humble, some motivate me (chai ah wantu mention someone's name here Buh ah won't,by reading this she already knows herself lol), some of them trouble me but teach me to be a gentleman (nawti ayam talking abou yhu oh!😏 lol), as much as they are their uniqueness differs just as the prints on every man's thumb and I try to learn regardless the age difference (I am a small boy). I don't downplay or look down on anybody.
  I adopted a policy few years back and it has been what has helped me maintain a good level of friendship with people, and the policy is quite simple " treat people the way yhu want them to treat yhu". Is that it?" Yes that's it, yhu wanna be loved? Show people love, yhu wanna be respected show people respect... That's how relationship works (or rather that's how mine has been working like I said earlier).
- I believe strongly that the hand of a giver is always up, no matter how things get bad you'd never lack
 - I believe that he that helps people will also get help in his time of need from places expected and unexpected (as in the case of Tabitha in the bible).
- I believe Jesus Christ when he said that the greatest of all the commandments was love.
And I believe that showing love is the greatest selfless act, If you die today what would people remember you as? Can your life still make influence 10 years after death? Or will you be forgotten after 10months only to be remembered on your yearly Remembrance Day? if you ask me why you should be selfless, I just stated 3 reasons up there.
My name is Areo Moses Temidayo  Thanks for taking the time out to read a piece of my mind.

Contact the writer via e-mail at areomoses@hotmail.com